Sunday, May 15, 2011

Getting To Know YOU

“Getting to know you, getting to know all about you
Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me”
Maybe you remember these words from “The King and I”? A little ditty declaring a connection between two very unlikely combinations of cultures caught my ear the other day.

When you meet a stranger, maybe through a networking occasion or a casual gathering of associates or an introduction from a friend, you want to know more about them.

Appearance in dress and mannerism can immediately communicate signals to the brain firing up perceptions similar to previous dress or stance.

The overall “something” that caught your eye draws you closer. Maybe the fashion, unique or well fitting or classic styling worn with comfort is the attraction. Maybe it is the hair color, if it is real; or the way she tosses it in the breeze. Maybe it is the shy smile, or the eyes looking up from the tilted head or the scent of sweetness overwhelming your senses.

Whatever the attraction the introduction statement usually ends up being a lame question to start the conversation.

If the situation is a family gathering the questions tend to wander to “Who do you know?” trying to find a person known by both.

If the situation is a networking gathering the question tend to inquire what each other can accomplish for the other. “What do you do?” is the most popular question referring to employment title and a brief job description. Not knowing their bosses, associates, schedules, or even the photos in their lockers is not important.

If the situation is an informal setting such as a party or a drink establishment the questions may become personal.
“Getting to know you, putting it my way but nicely
you are precisely, my cup of tea!”

And though, we may welcome the information about the other person, do we ever really know who they are? We listen to stories of tales and adventures and people who have made impressions on them before we met. We learn their taste and likes and desires. We follow the mystery of the unknown and yet, we never really know about them.

We know what we think we see and know, but do we?

For they have different perceptions of our presentation and adjust, as we do, to comply with the environment of the two sharing the same space.

“Getting to know you, getting to feel free and easy
when I am with you, getting to know what to say”

We learn to compromise our ideas, wants, desires and lifestyle to be with another human being. We adjust our life strategies so that the two can live harmoniously.

But do we give up too much?

Certain factors as health or extended family change our life, as we grow responsible for others. Inner desires may wane over time adjusting to a new way of life with another. Self-feelings can be buried under the burden.

“Haven't you noticed, suddenly I'm bright and easy
Because of all the beautiful and new”

So for the past two years, I’ve learned how much I did not know about myself.

What makes you happy? Not the smile or laugh at someone else’s joke, but the internal happy. The chuckle that comes automatic. It can be the simple action of people at the grocery store trying to struggle over a stuck metal cart or the antics of the critters running over your feet.

The basics break down to warmth, food, shelter, and rest. After that comes the adventure of life.
And the other hours are spent finding the golden ring of satisfaction. It may not be what you originally intended, but when a few moments come, you know.

Sitting alone in a quiet room with only your thoughts can be more revealing than any doctor’s prescription. Slowly you will get a feeling for the person you are.

Enjoying a summer storm on the front porch in the midnight hour, listening to the water splash in the pond drawing in the flight crew, being escorted by the dive bomber Robins in the morning, or just recording the waves of patterns as they pass across the plot of land you own. Hearing the call of nature in the morning yet worrying about the creaks in the old wood hoping it will last a few more years, before getting into a zone of rhythm and rhyme to the days sounds.

Finding your strengths and weaknesses has been an interesting journey not many will follow.

Learning cleaning is not important, but necessary. Dust and spider webs can be overlooked, not necessary for a comfortable environment. Finding out the lack of motivation that has held back exploration for years, but in retrospect, it is not bad. It made what it made and that is what I decided. Knowing an empty bed is only for rest and yet the dreams find their own turmoil. Absorbing the morning dew breathing in birth of a new day without a time clock.

Such is life.
“Things I'm learning about you, day by day!”

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