Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Suppose I came to your house….. And died?

No, not really. That would be just creepy, but then again, supposed it did happen. What would you do? I mean, I know this isn’t one of those subjects brought up around the dinner table. You sure don’t want to mention it in front of the kids; or your insurance agent, but supposed it happened?

It could you know. We are all going to go sometime. No one gets out of here alive.

We all would like to think we will drift off in our own beds surrounded by family and friends, but the truth is we will probably be in a hospital or hospice bed with tubes and liquids flowing through us and pumps keeping our decrepit body going longer than it should. Then again, "it" could happen at any time and we should be prepared.

Besides it would be very rude to accept an invitation and never leave.

So the next time you have a large gathering and you look over in the corner and see Aunt Sally dozing off, just think if she doesn’t come back, what do you do?

Put a tablecloth over her and tell everyone it’s a little game she is playing until the rest leave? Do you tell everyone else to run outside and look at the UFO flying over, then drag her into the bedroom and stuff her under the bed? Do you make a scene with a phone call to emergency vehicles who will come lights flashing and jump up and down on her then strap her to a board and carry her away while you are standing there trying to explain to everyone else it was not the potato salad she ate.

Well, if it happens to me, let me make it simple.

Call the taxidermist and have me stuffed, then put me in the corner as a hat rack. I would make quiet a conversation piece. Or dress me up and put me in the garden. I’ll scare aware the varmints unless a little girl in red shoes and her dog stop by. Or just drag me outside and feed me to the dogs.

But don’t let it happen too many times or the neighbors will start to say you live in the Bates Hotel and no one will come around any more.

1 comment:

TripleG said...

I'm thinking of "Weekend at Bernie's." You could always be at the party!