After almost two years of projects and schedules and payments and assignments and organization and chaos I’ve hit the wall.
The projects are still on the list with numbers and dates and ideas, but I’ve lost my motivation. With all the materials at hand and the time and weather conditions to do the next item on the list, I’ve lost the will to move on.
It is not that the next projects are difficult or more time consuming, but they rely on ME to do them and I’ve not found the energy to continue.
There are no distractions or reasons for the fault of reaching the next goal; it is a lack of interest.
Perhaps I don’t want to finish what I’ve started? Perhaps I’m just lazy. Perhaps I’m busy to finish this project, though it is all I have to do? Perhaps I need a kick-start in the trousers?
Whatever the reason is, I’ve stopped. I’ve grown lethargic, much too familiar with the surroundings and the overwhelming sense that there is no end to this.
Perhaps it is time to take a break? Take a vacation? Get a new location for a period of time to refresh and revive the spirit?
I’ve wandered before but either at arms length or in the company of a support group or to remember a shared occasion, but now it may be time to make the break.
Maybe a few days in another place far away with new topics and different diet and a strange bed to sleep creating new dreams? Shake it off and rub some dirt in it!
Maybe spending almost the same amount of time to travel to a different continent will refresh and energize? Maybe a conversation with others than trees and small furry critters will bring back the drive?
Like washing your face with cold water in the morning then looking in the mirror to attack the day, a time away may be needed to rejuvenate?
Then returning to the spider webbed dusty lot called “home” will refocus the notes on the calendar of life.
Perhaps it is too overwhelming and I need to take another direction? But then what?