Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How have you been?

Listen carefully! There will be a test.

“Me, not bad. How about you?”

“Oh, well, I got this ache. I think it is from picking up too much stuff on Saturday.”

“Yeah, I had that once. Took two Ziyckick pills for two weeks.”

“Did that help?”

“Not really, but it cost me a fortune.”

“You know what I would do is Yoga. I hear that stretches everything out.”

“Do you do Yoga?”

“No, but I have heard from people that go to classes that it really helps.”

“How old are these, ouch, people.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I work with them. They have only been there a couple of months, so I’d guess they are in there twenties.”

“I’ve got shoes older than that.”

“What have you done for your ache?”

“Well, I’ve been sitting around a lot and watching television. Have you seen that new series about the terror of aliens invading and turning into vampires?”

“Which show is that?”

“I don’t know. It’s got that hot girl dressed in black looking very mysterious. I think it’s called “Demon” or “Dynamic” or something like that. It’s got that guy who was in the show about the plane crash and that other guy who was the president in that series about, uh, invading aliens who weren’t really invading but were born her or something.”

“Well, if I were you, I’d see a doctor and get a prescription. My aunt Sally had an ache like that and she….”

“I am not your Aunt Sally and I’m doing just fine. When you can cut me open or write me a prescription, I’ll listen to you doc. “

“I’ve got a rash that doesn’t want to go away. I think I got into something in the yard.”

“Or you are allergic to yard work. (Laughter)”



“So who are you seeing now?”


“I saw you last weekend with that little redhead. What the name?”

“We were just going to a music concert. Just a friend and….”

“(Snicker) A friend in the end.”

“Yeah. I wish I could have a friend, but…. (Laughter)”


“Why don’t you bring your “friend” over for dinner this weekend? We would love to meet...”

“Yes, let’s make it a party!”

“…..but I….”

“It’s the derby weekend. We could make it a racing theme.”

“I’ve got some leather chaps I use on my motorcycle.”

“No, dummy. It’s the Kentucky Derby weekend.”

“But I’ve got a Stetson and a holster with two six-shooters and spurs and….”

“This weekend is for bourbon and big hats. (Snicker) We love playing dress up.”

“I’ll bring some pigs-in-a-blanket. I’ve got a full bottle of “Jack” I haven’t cracked yet. This should be fun.”

“Bring your cash so we can bet on the winners and drink to the losers.”

“And don’t forget to bring that red head. Hot! What’s the name again?”

“(Snicker) Yes, tell us more about her. How long have you been….(Snicker)?”

“Stop it, you are embarrassing him.”

“Come on, it’s “Derby Weekend”, we’ll cook out and drink and play cards and….”



“It’s none of your business.”

Now, the test of what you just read.

1. How many people are talking?
2. Are they men or women?
3. Which one is the doctor?
4. Which one is the lawyer?
5. Is it anyone’s business?

No comments: