Monday, October 28, 2013

5 Things You Should Have Done But Didn’t

With the continuing subject of numbers, I had a request for this one, so here goes….

1.        One thing I should have done, but didn’t was to learn how to count in metric.
Once there was going to be a global measurement system and everyone was going metric. The problem was our country didn’t adjust to the mood change so I didn’t pay any attention to arithmetic. If I had been paying attention I could have learned how to manipulate numbers into formulas that would turn into instructions to computers. I may have even learned another language and been a translator.

2.        Another thing I should have done, but didn’t was to give her a baby.
Now guys, listen to me. These ladies out there have an internal need to become a mother. We don’t understand it but it is in their DNA. We like the process but sometimes are not prepared for the outcome. My only excuse was that my father showed little affection to me or at least that I noticed and I accepted it due to his age when I was born. Not a good excuse but it is the best I have.

3.        A third thing I should have done, but didn’t was to move out of town.
All my friends slowly moved out of town, but I didn’t. I stayed in the neighborhood, worked within walking distance and felt comfortable in the familiar. Meeting someone who lives somewhere else is a draw and finding employment in a different location can move you, but I found neither. Would life have been different in a different town or village? I’ll never know because I decided to stay home.

4.        This thing I should have done, but didn’t was to kill her boyfriend.
There was a time when this could have happened and it would have ended the speculation that this person was still around. Even though he was a mystery to me, the stories were bad enough to give me the justification to eliminate without remorse. Luckily for him and probably me, I never came face-to-face and will never know if he was real or just make-believe. If you read this and are still around, let it be noted, I can still do this.

5.        The fifth thing I should have done, but didn’t was to tell her that I loved her.
Not saying I didn’t use those words. Everyone uses those words. We say them in cards and with flowers and special gifts and those mousey looks, but we never say the words. Say the words like we mean it. Sincere compliments to the partner you are with. A word can be that is a definition to a relationship. Perhaps a fear of being rejected or some sort of insecurity made the verb an abstract in my vocabulary.  

OK, this is what I’ve got. What about you? You may need more numbers or a different subject. It is just a thought process.

I’ve got to go inside because the sirens are crying and the baseball is on and I can’t stay awake for the 9th inning of these hippies swinging a bat.  Then again I might not have to.


Art said...

Very nice... On your list:
1. Metric ain't hard, it's just counting by 10s. The hard part is conversion from metric to English and back again.
2. Babies DO change things. From baby on, all the focus is on baby. Not bad, generally good, but no getting around it. Babies become your life, period. And it's NO difference whether they are 'from your loins' or married into...
3. Moving is a pain, and the entire point is to make it so that you are comfortable... "just like home". Joe stayed, but he travels a lot. Likely the best approach.
4. I am glad you did not kill anyone. You do not get to judge. His own karma will.
5. I believe in "I loves you" and I mean it.

Me? I got married too quick... TWICE.
I didn't take the Russian scolarship.
I did not stay healthy.

TripleG said...

On a less serious note, I saw in the paper yesterday:
"Five more uses for your plastic taco warmer"