Been discussing the “L” word recently and it still makes me ponder how it works. Then I associated it with work and had a light bulb moment.
If you think about it, Love is a lot like Work. Not the emotional stuff but some people love to work and work to love, so I will attempt to explain my thought process here.
When you apply for a job, you fill out an application with intimate details of your life and experiences. You wait for a call back and then prepare for an interview. You clean up and wear your best business like clothing for the face-to-face examination. You wait in a room with other applicants all applying for the same opportunity of employment. When your name is called, you answer questions and try to present yourself in the most favorable light. You intend to convince the interviewer that you have the qualifications and mental fortitude to accomplish the goals set above and beyond the other applicants. Then you wait to find out if you succeeded.
Love is the same process. You see a person you would like to meet. Sometimes a mutual friend introduces you while other times you must step up to the plate and make first contact. You make small talk trying to find common likes and taste to continue the conversation. Perhaps a favor of an unexpected compliment or a libation helps to increase your chances. Phone numbers are exchanged. Then you wait to find out if you succeeded.
If you don’t see my point, go to any local watering hole on a Friday night and watch. They are all playing the game.
Once you are hired, you are assigned your duties and workspace and the requirements of your job. You are given what the expectations of the company are. You may have to compromise your time schedules but if you work hard and impress the boss, there are possible raises in store. You can even become management and have a sense of power.
Are you getting it yet? Love is the same way. Once a relationship is started life changes. The drapes must be replaced, the furniture moved, a new set of dishes and a pet are usually involved. Compromise is the key for maintaining the Love atmosphere. How much each gives and takes in the relationship is a good indicator of how long it will last. Taking out the trash when asked or attending the ballet and pretending to like it may give a possible raise in the future.
Like in every workplace, budgets must be met, innovative changes learned, co-operation from other workers, and frustration from the daily grind occur in relationships too. Money is usually the first obstacle. One person may bring in more than the other person, which gives him or her a power position in the relationship. As the decades pass with changes in fashion, housing, location, transportation and even the onset of children, a couple must adapt. Outside influences of family and in-laws constantly bombard with ideas and suggestions. Most of all the day-by-day-by-day routine can bind on romance and perhaps cause a wandering eye.
Some people with feel confident enough to quit their job and move on to another company. Some people are laid-off without notice. Some people are just out-and-out fired from employment. The same is true with Love.
Workers who are self-employed or telecommute are secure enough in themselves to be single. Freelancers work wherever the opportunity will take them. Some are adventurous enough to work more than one job at a time.
Whether Love is a job or a career, it must be worked at. Like in any workplace, if you become complacent, you will be passed by and forgotten. Most employers will not rehire you after you leave, even if the former has fond memories.
The work you do everyday may not be what you had preferred. Many educational and philosophical teachings may have to be compromised to provide shelter, substance, and safety. The same is true for Love.