Naughty

It is an interesting concept that some old guy up in the North Pole is watching you all year to evaluate whether to bring you a present or not on December 25^th.

From all the drawings and paintings and even photos of his doppelgangers this Santa fella seems a bit perverted in this age of #MeToo.

First is why are we allowing this jolly old elf watch our every move? Don’t we have security? You can put tape over your monitor’s camera but then you post all your sins online.

Second who is he to decide what is ‘naughty’?

Who is ‘naughty’ anyway?

Is naughty a Scoundrel performing an inappropriate behavior? Is a disobedient child naughty? Should some rude comment or action be defined as naughty? Is an indecent suggestion or remark naughty? Is naughty a risqué movement? Is naughty bawdy behavior at a local watering hole? Is naughty titillation, implied or innocently made? Vulgar comments made during the lost of your team? Is naughty an off color joke made in a locker room? Salacious desire? Lewd gestures made to be offensive to others? Raunchy actions approved by others? Is naughty saucy or questionable actions or language spoken in public?

Who makes the value system of getting a prize or a piece of coal?

Maybe you took a second look at a young lady passing by who wasn’t your partner? Maybe you let loose one smelly and looked at another as if they did it? Maybe you parked in a handicap space, if only for a minute? Maybe you gave a scorning look at a person sitting on a milk crate with a cardboard sign? Maybe not tipping?

Unless you can relive every moment in the past year, you wait for the big guy to come down the chimney with your grade.

On December 26^th you might look at your stash given to you by friends and family and know that Santa told them something. Instead of a Maserati you get a pair of ugly socks and an 8-pack of underpants, you’ve been naughty. If you got a dishwasher instead of a fur coat and an all expense paid trip to Paris, you’ve been naughty. If the transmission falls out of your car on the way to granny’s house, you’ve been naughty.

Santa works in mysterious ways.

It is too late to fix this year, so grit your teeth and take your lumps.

You still have next year to do better.