Monday, December 2, 2013

Letter To Santa


Dear Santa,
I know what you always ask. Have I been naughty or nice? Well, let’s see in the past year what I will admit to.
I think I have been nice. I finished up my big projects on the house and nothing else has caved in. That’s nice. I’ve been frugal on my spending and have saved a lot of money while paying all my bills on time. That’s nice.
I have been nice to a couple of ladies but never got naughty. You know that. I have a boring relationship. It is better that way.
I have bought a few gifts for myself. That was naughty. Well, I could say my imaginary friend Mona bought them for me if that makes it better. They are just toys for boys.
You know I haven’t done much in the yard this year. It was a calm winter and a pretty cool summer. I spent a lot of time outside but didn’t trim anything. That was naughty. I did feed the critters daily so that was nice.
I had great plans on painting the house but instead drank beer through the summer months. That was naughty. So I decided to shake it up for my birthday. That was nice.
I got the big haircut and donated the remains. That was nice. I donated to the public television and all my foundations. That was nice. I even gave away a guitar. That was nice.
I’ve been writing a lot of stuff. Even started up a new site. It is good therapy for me and might be interesting for somebody stumbling across it. I don’t know if that is naughty or nice.
I’ve joined a gym. That is nice. I know I’ve abused myself for many years and it won’t solve any aches and pains, but it can’t hurt. Well, it can hurt a little but at my age and with the time I have, I should do it.
With a full-blown kitchen I don’t want to eat. Well, I do want to eat, but I don’t have any fascination in cooking. That is naughty? I did get a blender to make fruit drinks. I’m trying to eat more fruit and veggies. That is nice.
So what is it Santa? No I have not given to the poor or adopted an abandoned animal. I have not walked the marathons or volunteered to feed the homeless. If that is naughty, I plead guilty.
Santa, if you are coming to see me, leaves the coal on the doorstep. I don’t have a chimney. Beside Mona has already bought my Christmas present. Is that naughty?
So Santa, you do the accounting sheet and mark me as one or another. I know who I am.

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